idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
