well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
