There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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