Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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