Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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