Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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