I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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