No stitches, just platelets and will power
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
