I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I love you. Go after that dick
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
