I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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