6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
