maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize