Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
