Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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