wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
