I skipped work to stalk him.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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