Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize