hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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