Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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