hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
