That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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