I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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