Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
