We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
operation have a gay friend backfired
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
