He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
