I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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