hotel room ftw
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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