its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she looked like the before picture.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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