things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
