is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
