At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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