i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
