well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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