is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
