You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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