I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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