I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My balls are so social today.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
