it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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