How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
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I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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