Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
