This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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