Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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