Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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