Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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