Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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