help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
You did what with his pubic hair?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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