I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize