i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
