a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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