I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
