Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
