If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
