turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
