I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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