i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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