Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
