And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
