You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize