im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You dont lie about slip and slides
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
