I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
