Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
